I am an entrepreneur, a creative and passionate woman. Many people would describe me as successful and driven. I transformed a small one-person operation in my basement to a thriving national company with innovative ideas, creativity and deeply caring about my clients’ needs. So one would think, “What an empowered woman”, right? Wrong. There was a big piece missing in my empowerment: I left the details of financial management to my business partner because I detested dealing with such minutia. My business partner happened to be my husband, so I assumed that I had nothing to worry about, right? Wrong again.
One bitter cold January morning I went to the bank to withdraw money from my business account, something I didn’t do often. Much to my surprise, I was informed that I was no longer on the account and that my business had been “restructured” and I was no longer a partner.
“WHAT!?!” I protested, “There must be some sort of mistake, check it again!” There was no mistake, my partner and husband had illegally restructured our business, and I had no access to the assets that took a decade and a half to build. It was gone, taken from me just like that.
The handful of friends I was not too embarrassed to tell said things like, “Well, that’s emotional and financial abuse! He can’t get away with that.” But he did. Although the actions of my now ex- husband were absolutely wrong, it was indeed me who allowed it by not taking better care of myself, by not loving myself enough to be responsible for financial matters, by not seeing finances as an integral part of my well-being.
I came to realize that there is no better way to give up one’s personal power than to be uninvolved in essential financial matters and “delegate” them to another to “handle.” When I took a look at what I was doing, it boiled down to ignoring my basic human need for security.
I had completely stumped myself. I thought, “You are smart. You are successful. How could you allow this to happen?” So what was a creative passionate entrepreneur to do in a situation where she felt powerless? Go on the most empowering journey through learning to be accountable for loving herself enough to meet all of her needs, of course!
I began to take note of all of the places in my life where I was not loving myself or honoring myself. I began to look at the areas of my life that needed healing. And, I began to fall in love with being highly attentive to financial matters, as another expression of love to myself.
I, of course, had a hard time sitting down at a desk and just having the dry financial tasks in front of me, so I made it a sacred time of honoring myself. I lit a candle, I made myself rose-kissed jasmine green tea, I listened to Vivaldi and I nurtured myself every time I sat down to handle financial details and planning. I literally romanced myself into loving financial matters! I invoked my creativity and vision and felt incredibly resourceful in constructing the plan of how I was going to live the life I dreamed of by doing nothing short of honoring myself in every area of my life, finances included.
I began to attract a team of support. I hired a highly skilled advisor, one who doesn’t work on commission. I make long term plans for retirement, medium range plans and yearly plans. My yearly plans gave way to my quarterly goals and my quarterly goals tell me what actions I need to take every day. These are not new ideas. What is new is the enjoyment I feel and the appreciation I feel for myself by taking the routine actions and making them beautiful with a little epicurean twist.