CompassPic (May13)Finding out that you only have a few months or less before you are going to die, is one of the most challenging things anyone will ever have to face. And one of the next hardest tasks is telling your friends and family about this tragic news. Although this may never happen to anyone reading this article, I hope this will bring some comfort to those who have been affected by such an event.

Why Me?

When I first learned that I had terminal cancer, my whole body went into shock and I couldn’t hear what the doctor was saying to me. After about a minute, I stood up and walked right out of the room and out of that hospital. My head was kind of ringing and my eyes were welling up with tears. I was a fit and healthy 40 year old who had never smoked and only drank alcohol very occasionally. So why the hell was I being punished, why me?

Calming Down

I must have walked for miles in the rain, with each step I was thinking about the fact that I would not be here in a year, or perhaps my demise would be even sooner? But after about an hour or so, my thoughts started to change, and I began thinking about my partner who was waiting for me at home. She had known that I was ill, but I had selfishly hidden my real diagnosis from her. And now I had to return to my love with the worse news possible, I was dying and she would soon be alone.

Telling Your Loved One

She must have guessed from my face that something was wrong and I asked her to sit down as I removed my soaking wet coat. Her face dropped to the floor as I broke the terrible news and she must have cried for at least twenty minutes. As I held her, I felt her slim body shiver like I had never before.

The Reaction

Eventually she started to calm down and then the questions came, thick and fast. She was angry and wanted to know why I hadn’t prepared her for this news. I couldn’t really answer coherently and let her vent her spleen in my direction. It must have been around five pm before the barrage had ended, and then she started crying once more.

The Acceptance

Later on that evening, we cuddled together and I explained the way it was going to be. She seemed to understand but this time it was me who started worrying. My partner had always depended on me to look after her and now I was letting her down, I was leaving.

The Future?

The next day I made another appointment to see the doctor and this time my partner was coming with me. We had discussed the more practical side of things and I was so happy that my life insurance would at least cushion that blow a little bit. As we made that journey back to the hospital, I held her hand and thanked God that I had met such a wonderful lady.

Always be truthful with your loved ones and never try to protect them from the news that you dread to hear. They are the ones who will be left alone and by taking sensible and practical actions when you are well, you can leave them in a safe place when you have gone.

S6193929440_70d56188e2 (1)hruti Vaghe

Shruti Vaghe is a part of the team at Abbey Cremation, providers of affordable cremation services in Connecticut. She is passionate about woodworking and makes her own furniture. More information about her work can be found at

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