It started with what seemed like a simple question. That question, not surprisingly for anyone who knows me, led to a series of additional questions. Somehow though, I wasn’t getting clear answers, so I asked the people around me the same question. The results fascinated me and I was curious to explore the topic more fully. The basic question was: “What does intimacy mean to you?”
The range of responses was wide and varied. I included both men and women, (as I know that each gender has their own way of defining intimacy), of different ages, some in relationships, while others were not. Most people had to stop for a moment to really think about and put into words what intimacy meant to them. As I looked more deeply at the topic, I found the reason why. There are in fact four key types of intimacy.
What Does Intimacy Mean to You?
The people I asked generally started with the most common of the four types of intimacy: Sex. This wasn’t too much of a surprise because sexual intimacy is probably the most stereotypical and familiar definition of the word in modern society. Having sex, however, often has less to do with intimacy than with a physical act between people.
As it turned out, the people I talked to wanted more than just the act of sex — they wanted depth. They wanted to feel safe while being vulnerable, wanting to be seen by his/her partner. That made sense, as this form of intimacy also includes a wide range of sensuous activity and sensual expression, so it’s much more than having intercourse.
Interestingly, the word intercourse is defined as an “exchange especially of thoughts or feelings.” This had me curious as to why intimacy is challenging to people. I continued to look further.
How Different Genders Define Intimacy
Dr. Helen Fischer, well-known human behavioral anthropologist, reports that the genders do often define intimacy differently. To women, intimacy is all about talking face-to-face, locking eyes and then sharing their hopes, worries and their lives. Dr. Fischer suggests this behavior probably evolved millions of years ago when ancestral females spent their days holding their infants up in front of them, soothing them with words and sounds.
Men, however, often regard intimacy as working or playing side-by-side, rarely sharing their secret dreams and darkest fears. If they do, men often use “joke speak,” to camouflage their feelings with humor. While women use an eye-to-eye “anchoring gaze,” men almost never look deeply into each other’s eyes. Dr. Fischer says that men’s approach to intimacy probably also dates back to prehistory when ancestral males gathered behind a bush, quietly staring across the grass in hopes of felling a passing buffalo. They faced their enemies but sat next to their friends.
The next of the four faces of intimacy is emotional intimacy. This happens when two people feel comfortable sharing their feelings with each other. The goal is to be aware and open to understanding the other person’s emotional side. There’s probably little question that women have an easier time with this in their very close female friendships, but I’d like to believe that men are becoming more comfortable experiencing emotional intimacy as well.
In fact in her research, Dr. Fischer was surprised to discover that 95 percent of all respondents rated “talking heart-to-heart with your partner about your relationship” (emotional intimacy) as something they’d do to be intimate, while 94 percent felt that “doing something adventurous together” spelled togetherness — with hardly any difference between the sexes.
She commented that it is possible these results are an indication that men are learning to appreciate a more feminine need to talk, while women are understanding the more masculine way of showing love —”actions speak louder than words.” Very encouraging indeed.
Love and Intimacy
If we believe that there are only two major energies we humans experience, love and fear (or an absence of love), then it’s interesting that in this area of intimacy, it seems people have moved from their hearts and love, to an energy that stops them from experiencing what they often yearn for the most. Love and intimacy.
In her book A Return to Love, the brilliant Marianne Williamson says it eloquently:
“Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we have learned here. The spiritual journey is the relinquishment or unlearning of fear and the acceptance of love back into our hearts. Love is our ultimate reality and our purpose on earth. To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in ourselves and others, is the meaning of life.”
Even the Bible says, “There is no fear where love exists.” To me, love and intimacy are both highly spiritual.
Could true intimacy be as simple as a matter of moving back to loving ourselves first? To rediscovering the unconditional love we all were born with? The idea of self-intimacy and self-love is a fascinating concept. I’ll leave these as open-ended questions for you to ask yourself for now. On to the other two types of intimacy.
Intellectual intimacy, is something I personally have the most comfort with. This one is about communication, and as someone who lives and breathes words, it’s extremely familiar to me. The ability to share ideas in an open and comfortable way can lead to a very intimate relationship indeed.
Finding myself engaging in this type of interaction all the time, offers me a wonderful, fulfilling form of intimacy. I wondered if this was my strongest area of intimacy and realized that this kind of intimacy is exactly what Dr. Fischer referred to when she described how men view intimacy, saying that “men were far more likely to regard ‘debating’ as intimate.” Intellectual intimacy in its finest form.
The fourth kind of intimacy is experiential intimacy, an intimacy of activity. When I get together with a group to create art in a silent process I’m having this experience. It’s about letting the art unfold, by working together in co-operation. The essence of this intimate activity is that very little is said to each other; it’s not a verbal sharing of thoughts or feelings, but it’s more about involving yourself in the activity and feeling an intimacy from this involvement.
Recalling an encounter I had at a contact improv jam was also this form of intimacy. I interacted with a young man, letting our body energy lead the dance, with no eye contact and no words, just movement in a sensual and open, if not dramatic, dance. So, I understood that this experiential intimacy is also, somewhat surprisingly, in my intimacy vocabulary.
Joining and Separating
Rick Hanson, PhD says that having intimacy in our lives requires a natural balance of two great themes — joining and separation — that are in fact central to human life. Almost everyone wants both of them to varying degrees. He goes on to say, “In other words: individuality and relationship, autonomy and intimacy, separation and joining support each other. They are often seen at odds with each other, but this is so not the case!” This also made perfect sense to me. Yin and yang. Light and dark. All the polarities we live in life, lead to a balance.
My understanding of intimacy expanded during this exploration of its four faces. Maybe this awareness just might make it easier for each of us to find our own perfect personal balance between them all. For me, it comes down to our willingness to explore intimacy in all its forms.
What I learned makes me believe that with some balance in these areas, we might find a deeper connection and understanding of the relationships in our lives. I also recognize that we all have our own definitions of intimacy and that men’s and women’s definitions have traditionally differed dramatically. Hopefully, they are moving closer together.
Then, almost synchronicity, I received my daily Gaping Void email with the subject: “Has your soul been seen lately?” It went on to say, “I saw your soul today and it made me want to cry with joy and thanks.” The topic was intimacy. What followed was a beautiful way to end my piece.
“Intimacy isn’t strictly about romantic relationships, or even relations with family — sometimes it happens quickly, and often times in ways we hardly notice.
I’m talking about that moment when someone allows the world to see what’s inside… what they are really about. It’s about seeing someone for who and what they are and that the glimpse was offered either voluntarily or without the person’s knowledge. This is an incredible moment where our existence suddenly makes sense and all comes together in a singular place.
For those of you who have experienced this, it’s something that never gets lost in memory or time. It’s like a little mirror we take out every now and then to remember a time when something so complex became so inconceivably simple. It’s pretty incredible.”
This is the essence of what intimacy is really all about. Regardless of who you are and how you define yourself—dare to be vulnerable, dare to be seen.
Now let me ask you my starting question: What does intimacy mean to you?
Photo Credit: Maddi Bazzocco
I found this post to be really interesting especially because I have been having this exact conversation with my future hubby. We view intimacy differently and have had to work hard to compromise on a middle ground. You describe him well when you refer to “joke speak.” I constantly seek intellectual and emotional intimacy so his “joke speak” can rub me the wrong way when I just want to connect with him in an authentic, deeper way. This is food for thought.
Interesting how this piece mirrors your current life experience Niquenya. I think it is still a challenge, as men and women are coming from different places in their intimacy needs. It requires communication and conversation and some middle ground understanding, just like it sounds you are doing. Times are changing and yet perhaps the gender difference in how we relate to intimacy is still something that could use more conversation and more awareness brought to it. Thanks for sharing and all the best with your future hubby too!
Thanks! Yes it is a constant challenge. At times I think I am at somewhat of an advantage than most people because my coaching and mediation skills help me to find that middle ground just a little easier. lol
I would also say you are at an advantage, Niquenya. All your talents and learnings definitely bring some objectivity when wanting to arrive at that middle ground. 😉
I have always been a fairly reserved person, coming from an upbringing that was devoid of family closeness and emotion.
A series of failed relationships and a failed marriage only made me more emotionally guarded.
When I was 38, I met my now wife, and everything changed in a heartbeat.
She is the only person I have ever truly opened up to and invited into the real me.
Now, 10 years on, we have an intimacy that is constant and all encompassing. It doesn’t matter if we are doing things together, or just hanging out doing our own thing, we are always connected.
To me, intimacy is about giving your all to someone without judgement, without reserve and knowing you are accepted for who you are.
I really appreciate hearing your story, Ian, as it shows how we evolve and grow as we move through our lives. Early upbringing doesn’t have to be an indicator of who we become. Love how you dropped your emotional guards once you met your wife, as often one person can be that person who you feel safe enough with to allow them in, and allow your self out. You definitely embody the essence of intimacy and it is very refreshing and encouraging to hear this, especially from a man, who so often we believe are fixated on only sexual intimacy. Thanks so much for sharing! It really adds a lot to the conversation.
Your writings are so stimulating. I wish I had more time to explore each piece you write as they touch me on many levels. I believe that is what intimacy is for me- connecting on levels that enriches, fills me up so I want to expand, give more, connect, be challenged, stimulated- all my senses. Passionately come alive is my bottom line for intimacy.
Beautiful Roslyn! Just reading your words here really gives me a strong sense of who you are and your joy in living. To keep growing and expanding yourself and I love your last line. Yes to “passionately coming alive” and that is a wonderful way to describe intimacy!
Intimacy has so many meanings – I am really drawn to the end of your post, Beverley, where you share the email from Gaping Void: “I’m talking about that moment when someone allows the world to see what’s inside… what they are really about. It’s about seeing someone for who and what they are and that the glimpse was offered either voluntarily or without the person’s knowledge.” This says it all for me – being able to have someone see my inner workings and stick around to be part of my life – have discussion – share thoughts – debate, etc. Thanks, as always, for writing a post that makes me take a look at what’s important.
When I received that email from Gaping Void, it also spoke volumes to me, Deb. That is what true intimacy is and it can actually happen even when we do not know it. It is daring to be vulnerable enough to allow someone else to see you for everything you are and even everything you are not. I really appreciate hearing how what I write not only resonates with you, but also asks you to ask yourself what is truly important in your own life. I so appreciate your support and input. Many thanks!
Hi Beverley, Thanks for a great article on intimacy. For me that means being able to let down my guard, my barriers and be totally open and honest with someone. I don’t do this easily.
Thanks for sharing this Shawn. It sounds like you have a wonderful awareness of what emotional intimacy is and that you are open (at times) to letting down your guard to let others in. It is wonderful to hear, as often men have the most challenge with this kind of intimacy. Appreciate hearing from you.
Joining and separating are very important. That can easily make or break a relationship. I am so fortunate to have soul intimacy, with its vulnerability, with my husband.
You are very fortunate Beth to have this kind of soul intimacy with your husband, as so often women find that men are not open or willing to join at this very deep and authentic level. It is also, as you say, about joining and separating, and having the space between at times to be and do what is most important to you without the other. Many thanks for sharing your experience!
To me, intimacy depends on the relationship. Between sexes/spouses/lovers/etc., I think it’s connecting on all levels. Same-sex (non-sexual) intimacy is the ability to communicate well with each other and be your own true self without judgment.
In my own experience Jackie, I realized that I am very adept at intellectual intimacy, yet I have been working on being more integrated in emotional, physical and experiential as well. And yes, it does depend on the relationship as you mention. Sexual intimacy seems to be easier for some people to express than emotional intimacy and what was encouraging for me was that the divide between men and women in this type of intimacy, is closing and that each is acknowledging what is important to the other. Thanks for sharing your experience too!
In reading this post again I realize how little thought is given to intimacy. Perhaps it is easier to reflect upon in friendships, without the sexual aspect that can cloud things up. Why do we have closer friends than others? what has us confide in one and not the other? I’ve had BFF that I wasn’t intimate with- never told my innermost life experiences too, even though I knew I could always count on them.
This is why the entire area of Psychology and Sociology is fascinating. Love seeing it slip into social media.
Thanks so much for your own reflections and questions on this topic Roslyn. I always believe that living in the question opens the door for awareness and answers. It is quite interesting to me, how with some people, we do seem to click and are comfortable telling our soul to them, and yet others who we see as being close to us, we are still reserved and don’t share it all. Intimacy is a very deep topic and I am also happy that these conversations, once reserved for the psychology and sociology worlds, are now part of the cultural conversations. I always appreciate how you explores and examine these topics from an inner perspective. Very much appreciated!
There’s such a need to speak from the heart about the different energies that intimacy bring us–if we’re open. You do it so beautifully.
My own experiences have ebbed and flowed over the years. During my very active years in business, I tucked most types away, except maybe intellecutal intimacy. Age is encouraging me to begin again. It’s refreshing and joyful.
Thank you, Beverley. More please.
Thanks for sharing your own comfort with “intellectual” intimacy, Sharon. I am quite comfortable myself with that form. Like you, as I have gotten older, I find I am much more open and expressive in both emotional and experiential intimacy. It is very refreshing for me as well. So many years of being skewed one way and now this brings a new freedom to life and I agree, it is more joyful. Appreciate your openness is acknowledging how important it is to speak from the heart and to see how a balance of all of the faces of intimacy truly enhances our lives.
I like how you described the different types of intimacy. Intellectual and emotional intimacy are most important to me as I need to feel safe being vulnerable with my ideas and my range of emotions. This concept reminds me of “The 5 Love Languages,” where the author describes various types of love and the importance of understanding your love language as well as your partner’s if you are in a relationship.
Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for sharing, Sharise. I am like you, as intellectual intimacy is very important to me and now I find it important to balance this with emotional intimacy. And yes, the feeling of safety comes when you can be vulnerable and still be accepted exactly as you are. I haven’t read “The 5 Love Languages” yet, although I have heard about it from different people. Happy to hear that there was a resonance for you between this post and that book, and even more so, that in your life you are living this with your partner. Appreciate you sharing too.
This is interesting Beverley because well.. two things… one, the three biggest relationships in my life, with men, my dad, my ex and my current boyfriend are all very different..and I still learn from them. It’s obvious why the significant other relationship varies from my father. another thing is that my current boyfriend and I have been together almost 7 years and I have learned a lot.. and recently (over the last year) learned that he connected with me differently than I did. well, I knew that.. but talking about it with him… I now understand why men, why he reacts one way versus how woman, me, act. It’s all interesting. Thanks for taking the time to research this.. very interesting!
It is definitely an interesting topic, Kristen. Generally people think that men are most interested in sexual intimacy and often just having sex isn’t that intimate at all. Sounds like the men in your life have been a very interesting learning for you. And I sense they are all different too and have brought different things into our life which you have had the opportunity to learn from. There is a lot for both men and women to learn from each other and the only way this can happen is to be open to communicate about it. You sound like you have good communication with your current boyfriend and I believe many women don’t have this because the men just don’t want to “talk” about it. It is all interesting for sure. We all are making our way through this and each persona and each relationship certainly offers new things to learn about ourselves and about being in relationship with another. Thanks for sharing your “intimacy” experiences!
Thought provoking article Beverley. I can’t recall where I first heard it, but I love the concept of intimacy = into me see. To me it means allowing the other to see us – all of us. The deeper the into me see, the deeper and richer the experience of the other. We dance into the spiral of intimacy through going ever deeper by sharing our thoughts, experiences and dreams. We spiral out of intimacy through allowing the dross of every day fill the pools with the mundane. If I feel out of intimacy with a loved one, I know that I haven’t been paying attention, and I have allowed my pools to become clogged and muddied – and that sometimes it takes serious work to become clear again.
Love that Ingrid, as I haven’t heard that before. It makes so much sense that intimacy = into me see. That is what it is about. About seeing and being seen. And that is all any of us humans really wants. To be seen for who we are and accepted for that as well. I love how you talk about feeling out of intimacy with a loved one and realizing that means you haven’t been paying much attention so it asks you to find your way out of the clogged and muddied pool to reclaim your intimacy with that person. Intimacy is indeed about going deeper, being willing to be vulnerable and to share what is most sacred to us…our thoughts, our dreams and our experiences. Beautiful comments and very appreciated Ingrid. Thank you.
To me, true intimacy is sharing on all of these levels. It’s about sharing your thoughts and feelings as well as having a good sexual relationship. It is oh so worth it!
True intimacy is about a healthy balance of all the four faces on intimacy, Sherri and it is about being vulnerable enough to share yourself and to be willing to be seen for who you are. Yes, a healthy sexual relationship is very important and is part of the whole intimacy experience.
To me, intimacy is spiritual. Having intimacy with God is a prerequisite for having intimacy with other humans. I find my identity in Christ, that is how I know how God sees me. When I can see myself as God sees me, I can see other people as God sees them. That creates true intimacy.
Intimacy is very spiritual and it asks us to be vulnerable to being seen for all we are, Carol. It is about trusting that there is a higher connection for us all and that to share this with others is very divine indeed. Many thanks for sharing your perspective here.
My husband and I attended a marriage conference several years ago and first learned how differently men and women view intimacy. Every young couple should read this so they know that others may experience intimacy differently and that’s ok. We just have to make an effort to respond to the person in a way that makes them feel loved.
This is such a great point you make, Kristy. Each of us are different when it comes to intimacy and it is key to understand the differences and to know you are accepted as you are. And loved for who you are. For me, it is about communication and then understanding the other, as without that we continue to expect they are like us, and of course that can lead to both disappointment and to a divide. Appreciate you sharing your perspective, as each voice in this conversation adds something new.
Beverley, this was such a good article! The question by The Gaping Void, “Has your soul been seen today?” is so profound. I feel utterly terrified, as I am asked to show my vulnerability, which also requires trust in others. I believe it’s when my trust is shared and returned that I feel intimate with others. Thank you for sharing such a lovely article.
Thanks for sharing, Liz. Just by sharing how you are terrified of being vulnerable, you are actually being vulnerable. I love the line from Gaping Void as well and that is what most of us want. To have our soul seen. To be seen and loved for who we are. This does require trust in others and when it is mutual, magic can happen in the relationship. Appreciate you adding your voice to this important conversation.
I loved this post, Beverley and would have written my reply in capital letters but for the fear of appearing to be shouting on the internet.:)
Indeed there are 4 types of intimacy although the genders differ in their articulation of the same. Spiritual intimacy with God or one’s Guardian Angel and other Angels helps to keep us grounded and to develop intimacy with our own thoughts and sense of divinity. I think Intellectual intimacy is easier for many of us because it depends upon the brain and thinking processes although I enjoy experiential intimacy in a group or just paired with my dog. The sense of being part of something other than oneself to produce a result, whether it is an art, project or just a good walk has to be experienced to understand better.
I agree with you on so many points, Vatsala. True intimacy does come from a higher spiritual octave. And yes, genders definitely do relate to and define intimacy differently. I also think intellectual intimacy is easier of many people, because it does come from a thinking process, which is how most of us are conditioned to relate in this world. Experiential intimacy was a very new definition for me, although I really understood that I am experiencing it in many areas of my life. Including in creating art within a group or as you mention with the wonderful dog and cats who live with me, compliments of my daughter. My sense is it is another big topic, that might not be talked about too often, yet is so important to keep in the conversations we have and the relationships we are wanting to nurture and flourish. Thanks for adding your wonderful comments and for really “getting” the essence of this topic and for sharing your perspective!
Thank you for this wonderful article on the secrets to true intimacy. I love “joining” with my little ones, and I find “separating” prepares us for a special reunification of our souls. We have a ritual to say “thank you” in the morning and “blessed be” at night, before going to sleep. Intimacy is beautiful to have in our lives. It creates a loving bond beyond the material, physical world we live in. I am still deeply connected to my mom, who was and is my best friend, even after her passing 15 years ago. Being best friends meant being happy together, sad together, strong and weak together, as we lost the battle to cancer. But still we win because my mom still remains in my heart and soul, forever. Best 🙂
Thanks for sharing your wonderful testament to your mother and your children, Renee. Family like this is a true blessing and you speak so eloquently of the intimacy you share with them. I have a similar bond with my daughter and we seem to have something that defies just being here on a physical plain. It has no limits or definition and feels like a pure soul connection. Your rituals with you family are truly lovely and I know your children must cherish the time you all get to share. Thanks so much for your thoughts on this big topic. Seems intimacy occurs in different ways to all of us. The key is to feel it and live it in our lives.
Such great food for thought and inspiration about intimacy, Bev! I think you can view intimacy at many levels, between the people you interact and communicate with, but also anything that stimulates and encourages you to be more creative and “who you are”: a book, a movie, music, some time spent alone…
Great point you make in your comment, Delia. We can find intimacy created with yourself by engaging in things we enjoy and are passionate about. And I agree that intimacy is different depending on who you are experiencing it with. It changes depending on the relationship.
I never knew there were so many types of intimacy. It’s very interesting to see just how different men and woman define intimacy.
Thanks for weighing in Michael. It is interesting to see that there are distinct kinds of intimacy and also that the genders relate and define each of them quite differently. I always appreciate hearing a man’s perspective too, so thanks for joining in the conversation.
What a great article! I never considered how multi faceted intimacy was. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable can be hard. But the rewards can be amazing! Thanks for such a thorough explanation of our most vital need.
Thanks so much Cierra. Intimacy is indeed very multi-faceted and there is much to learn about how it shows up for us in our lives. The key as you said, is to be vulnerable. To be willing to be seen for who you are, knowing you are being accepted just as you are. Glad you found some interesting new things in this post. Appreciate your reading and commenting.
Interacting on the value of the four faces of intimacy really provides information which is beneficial to those who are involved in this regard and also for those who are new to these concepts. As usual, you always share interesting posts.
Thanks for weighing in on this very important topic for all of us, Lorii. The more we are open to learning about intimacy, the better the chance we will make sure our relationships are infused with it. Appreciate your support and glad there was something interesting in this post for you again.
Great article Beverley. Uncovering intimacy and what that means is at the heart of relationships and the continuation of the human species (deep, huh?) As human beings we ‘need’ a certain level of intimacy to procreate and deeper levels to grow a family unit and nurture it until the kids are in adulthood. There is the primal intimacy, friendship intimacy, the marital intimacy, the parent-child intimacy and so on. Most of these forms of intimacy are platonic but are solidified with a deep trust between the parties. So I guess my long answer to the last question you posed, What does intimacy mean to you? Two words: deep trust.
Love your final comment Liz. Yes, intimacy is “deep trust” and I imagine for some people it is challenging to be vulnerable enough to actually arrive at that place. I keep wondering if intimacy is being diluted in our modern-day world, where so many of our interactions are impersonal online and not in person face to face. Human beings do need connection with others and do need to feel some kind of intimacy to actually feel they are being seen for who they are. Intimacy does change depending on the relationship and for me at least, the key is to be aware of it and to make sure we have it in our lives. Thanks for your thoughts and for adding your voice to the conversation, Liz.
I don’t think I have one definition of intimacy…I pretty much have experienced all of the ones you described based on the relationships in my life as well as the one I have with myself. But I certainly understand that for some, intimacy by any definition is very hard and they struggle their entire lives.
There isn’t one definitive way to describe intimacy, I agree Beth. The key is to be aware of its importance to us human beings and to at least know we are experiencing it in the various relationships in our lives. Some people are more comfortable with one kind of intimacy and after doing this research, I realized how important it is to have them all in different ways in our lives. Yes, some people do struggle with intimacy and my hope is that through this conversation, people will become more willing to look at how intimacy is being experience in their own lives.
Very interesting information and let me think what intimacy means to me. To me, intimacy is about sharing. Sharing experience, sharing tasks, sharing moments, sharing happiness. Great article, so I will share this with my Facebook group page too! Thanks
Thanks so much Kaz. It is always lovely to have a male perspective in the conversation. I agree that intimacy is about being open to sharing, all parts of yourself in many different situations. I appreciate you sharing this with others as well. The more voices in the conversation…the better!
Really enjoyed your post on Intimacy 🙂 I did not realize that there were 4 faces of intimacy……I learned a few things from your information that you shared and have begun to think of my own long term relationship and how it relates to these different faces of intimacy and how it can be improved 🙂
Thanks for sharing your awesome value! I always learn so much just reading your informative posts!
Have a great weekend 🙂
Always happy to hear when someone learns something new from something I have written, Joan. I think when doing the research it was very revealing to me as well, as most people do have a skewed way of looking at intimacy. Many might immediately think of “sex” as being intimate and or course, that isn’t at all what intimacy is about. Glad you were also able to relate the four faces of intimacy to your own personal relationships as those are the ones where we express intimacy on the deepest level.
Thanks for your support and for your thumbs up on my posts too! Enjoy your weekend as well.
Great article. While I haven’t been married for 20+ years, I’m almost to 10 years and I will agree, there are so many facets to being in a relationship. The more connected we are to each other, the types of intimacy I believe we’ll experience which will only make us stronger!
Thanks for your input on this Stacey. It seems that intimacy is being redefined and it sounds like you and your husband are exploring and allowing more than one form of intimacy into your relationship. Continued love and intimacy as you move into your next 10 years. The more intimate a relationships is, the stronger it becomes.